[Taking his palm reader when he rolls over again and settles down to get comfortable, Arakita shuts his eyes and breathes easy as he waits for the next response. They are literally just rooms apart, but he's too comfortable to get up just yet.]
[He can't be assed to fix his shitty typing when he's still only looking with one eye - but he is thinking about telling him to come to the bed instead of staying out on the couch, if he wants to keep talking like this.]
he misses meeting up with daichi and asahi at the midway point on their walk to school, shuffling the rest of the way and passing yawns back and forth between the three of them. he misses the squeak of volleyball sneakers on the court, the sound of his underclassmen bickering back and forth, the familiar smell of karasuno's aging gym. he misses grabbing pork buns on the way home from a practice that happens to run particularly late. he misses the way it feels to wake up with a clear goal singing in his head; we're going to nationals.
... weirdly enough, he even misses coach ukai's bark.
and most of all, he misses the feeling of having his feet on solid ground. never doubting where he stands with his best friend, never having to wonder if what feels right is actually all that true, never questioning... himself. who he is, what he wants, what makes him happy. ]
[For a long minute, Arakita looks at those words on the screen and yet they aren't what he is really seeing, from how long it took to get a response.
Putting the palm reader aside and scrubbing his face, wishing he used both eyes so they were already situated to light or dark instead of this shitty half and half vision, Arakita gets up -- ]
[ the sound of arakita's voice in the dark is enough to startle him, immediately flipping his palm reader face down into the pillow to stifle its light.
... aaaand, for a minute, silence reigns supreme in the apartment. then: ] Don't wanna.
[ maybe muffling it into the pillow will be enough to hide how raw he sounds. ]
[He's not wrong, he is crying. Waiting only a brief minute longer, like he is making sure Suga really isn't getting up, Arakita walks the bit of distance and rounds the couch.
He isn't waiting anymore, he just moves to try picking him up, blanket and all.]
[ he has the full space of a minute to think that arakita's given up on it.
-- and then the sound of the other boy treading closer is all the warning he gets before arakita suddenly scoops him up into his arms, blanket and all. there's a startled little yip as he gets swept clean off the couch, both hands immediately trying to secure a safehold on arakita's shoulders to steady himself. ]
[Arakita doesn't answer even, he just bundles Sugawara to his chest and sways briefly, before he carries him back to the bedroom with a slow sag to his steps. It's not that Suga's heavy, but lifting to dunk and lifting to carry are two very different functions. Finally getting all the way to the edge of the bed and thumping him down, Arakita leans down to set his hands on either side as he bends to get eye to eye.
[ he oofs a little as he gets thumped down on the edge of the bed, just barely resisting the (childish) impulse to try turning his face away. it's not that he doesn't appreciate the gesture or the effort, because he does, but...! and besides, it'd be unfair to end up dumping all of this in arakita's lap after he's already done so much to help him out.
... but all of that gets abruptly lost at the sound of his own first name, eyes widening. and the startled blink that follows is hard enough to send the twin tears lingering at the corners of his eyes spilling down his cheeks. ]
[Ah, shit, he's crying more because of it?? Arakita reaches up without really thinking to wipe them away with his thumbs, tipping his head slightly - it's such a dog-like move and he doesn't even realize it, because now his thoughts are about i fucked up.]
You want me to stick to Sugawara? I'm just - used it to make you talk. [Grumbling and mumbling and his ears are coloring because he's aware about how using first names can be too much.]
[ he shakes his head quickly in response to the question, leaning a little into one of those hands that come up to brush over his cheeks. and now he's smiling, even despite the fact that his eyes are still shining with unshed tears, shoulders relaxing a little. ]
I don't mind. It just surprised me, that's all.
[ ... the temptation to try reaching up for a hug is pretty real, but. he settles with just twining his fingers into arakita's shirt, instead. teasing, but it's soft. ] I'd say that I think it's cute, but you'd probably get mad at me.
You need to stop using the word "cute" with me, 'm really not by any definition "cute".
[Letting out a breath he forgot he was holding, Arakita just wipes his face again before he leans in at those fingers curling against his shirt, dipping in to set his chin on Sugawara's shoulder and snort.]
So instead of me bitching and grumbling, talk. Are you missin home?
You're cute to me. I'd know that better than anyone else, right?
[ ... but when arakita leans in, the last little bit of his resistance crumbles. which is why he reaches up to slide his arms slowly around the other boy, turning to bury his face in arakita's shoulder. he can't quite get the words out, say i wanna go home out loud, but...
there is a nod, punctuated by the little hiccup of a smothered sob. ]
[He's right, hilariously enough. He hasn't been this soft to literally anyone before, so Arakita can't even argue about that. He just lets himself get involved in Sugawara's problems though, lets him cling on and lifts a hand to rub his back slowly when the tears start again.]
Walking with the people you know and shit not being weird as hell, the whole atmosphere around here fuckin sucks most of the time. [In the end, Arakita is thinking about it too. While Toudou's frequent nagging and general personality keep Arakita from genuinely feeling too homesick, he still thinks about his other two friends.
Shinkai always trying to get him to eat something new, or Fukutomi giving him some new goal without needing to say a word. Idiots he's attached to. Not so much that he's upset he can't see them, but their presence or their words were always ... there. For the last three years.]
[ it's a little embarrassing, crying into arakita's shirt like this. the other boy's already done more than enough to try and help him out; he's let suga sleep over on his couch for the past few days without a single word of complaint, and he even trudged down to midas to take a stab at fixing mei's ceiling when suga mentioned off-handedly how worried he was about it. and besides that, he keeps bringing home takeout with portions that are clearly enough for two, even if arakita never admits to it outright.
it... means a lot. especially coming from someone he doesn't even know all that well, someone who doesn't have a single obligation in the world to him. and, as a result, the last thing he wants to do is be even more of a burden, but... here he is. the middle of the night, sobbing into arakita's shoulder instead of letting him sleep.
he should apologize. or... try to explain, or maybe pull away and wipe his eyes and insist that he's fine. but this is the first time in amoi that he's really, really let himself cry -- over how much he misses home, over daichi, over any of it, and... now that the dam has broken, it's like he can't piece it back together again. he can't even get the words out to agree, just... pushes his face a little further into arakita's shoulder to muffle the sounds of his sobbing, shoulders hitching on every broken breath. ]
[While his own last month of being here has been moderately easy, Arakita is well aware that Sugawara's start wasn't nearly as good as his. It's stupid, how it's just about hair color. Reaching up to idly stroke through those paler locks, continuing to rub his back with his other hand, he just lets him cry as he talks about nothing in particular. All he really knows about comforting people is that letting them cry it out is usually best. Usually.
This is a good case of needing to cry it out, he can tell that much. His nose doesn't lie that often.]
I almost kind of miss the routine I had goin before I got here, you know? Kick Shinkai out of our shared bathroom because he's primping and I need to take a shit, go to class, hassle Fuku-chan to let me copy his homework and get into some annoying song and dance with Toudou about how I need to learn on my own.
[ it's actually... just what he needs, oddly enough. the petting through his hair and the feeling of arakita's strong hand running up and down his back are both incredibly soothing, and his voice is a comforting, steady rumble up through his chest. if they were sitting in total silence, it'd be awkward enough to make him feel like clamming up. and if arakita was pushing him to talk about what was wrong, it'd only end up digging up even more of what's upsetting him.
... sometimes, it just feels good to cry it out, a little.
but his sobs start breaking up like cloud cover, beginning to trail off into little hiccuping breaths as he focuses more on what arakita is saying to him. ... and eventually he turns his head a little, just to make sure his voice isn't too muffled to be understood when he speaks. ] ... those are your friends back home?
[ punctuated by a little sniffle, but. he hopes it's enough to prompt him to keep talking. ]
[Tucking longer strands of hair behind Sugawara's ear while continuing to sooth his back and hair, Arakita hums an affirmative sound, shifting to reach and tug him into sitting up enough that he can wipe his face again with the bottom of his shirt.]
Aa, they are. Well. Toudou's here. He might be an unreasonable nag, but he's still Hakogaku's ace climber. If I can keep his annoying ass out of trouble, it'll be worth it going home and saying I did shit instead of leaving him to fend for himself.
[ it's a little strange!! being the one fussed over... but it's also nice, especially now. so he just closes his eyes and leans into it as arakita wipes his face, tipping his chin up obediently to make it a little easier. ]
Mm... see? [ cracking open his eyes a little, enough to flash a (slightly watery) smile up at arakita. ]
I almost want to be around while you try to tell Toudou that, because he'll deny it about as much as I do.
[Dipping his head in to bump their foreheads together briefly, Arakita drops his shirt enough to wipe Suga's wet face with his fingers again, tching softly.]
Shinkai might agree with you though, for some ungodly reason.
[ he mms at the feeling of arakita's fingers on his skin, closing his eyes with a little puffed sigh of contentment. yeah, it definitely feels nice just to get a little affection, even if arakita would probably deny calling it that outright. ]
Shinkai's obviously the smartest. [ grinning, even though the weariness is more than obvious around the edges. crying always takes a lot out of you, doesn't it? he feels... a little wrung out, but in a good way. ] It's easy to see who's the brains of the operation.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2016-04-07 07:25 am (UTC)kindve? im used to quiet. were high up.
[Taking his palm reader when he rolls over again and settles down to get comfortable, Arakita shuts his eyes and breathes easy as he waits for the next response. They are literally just rooms apart, but he's too comfortable to get up just yet.]
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on 2016-04-07 07:36 am (UTC)i guess it should be nice, but...
sometimes it's kind of funny. the way you don't realize how much you're going to miss something until it isn't there anymore.
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on 2016-04-07 07:38 am (UTC)[He can't be assed to fix his shitty typing when he's still only looking with one eye - but he is thinking about telling him to come to the bed instead of staying out on the couch, if he wants to keep talking like this.]
( 1/3 )
on 2016-04-07 07:49 am (UTC)he misses meeting up with daichi and asahi at the midway point on their walk to school, shuffling the rest of the way and passing yawns back and forth between the three of them. he misses the squeak of volleyball sneakers on the court, the sound of his underclassmen bickering back and forth, the familiar smell of karasuno's aging gym. he misses grabbing pork buns on the way home from a practice that happens to run particularly late. he misses the way it feels to wake up with a clear goal singing in his head; we're going to nationals.
... weirdly enough, he even misses coach ukai's bark.
and most of all, he misses the feeling of having his feet on solid ground. never doubting where he stands with his best friend, never having to wonder if what feels right is actually all that true, never questioning... himself. who he is, what he wants, what makes him happy. ]
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on 2016-04-07 07:51 am (UTC)instead, he breathes in and out, then scrubs an arm quickly across his eyes. he's tired, that's all, that's why they're stinging. ]
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on 2016-04-07 07:55 am (UTC)it's actually kind of hard to sleep without it! that's silly, isn't it? ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ
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on 2016-04-07 08:00 am (UTC)Putting the palm reader aside and scrubbing his face, wishing he used both eyes so they were already situated to light or dark instead of this shitty half and half vision, Arakita gets up -- ]
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on 2016-04-07 08:02 am (UTC)Liar. Come here.
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on 2016-04-07 08:09 am (UTC)... aaaand, for a minute, silence reigns supreme in the apartment. then: ] Don't wanna.
[ maybe muffling it into the pillow will be enough to hide how raw he sounds. ]
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on 2016-04-07 02:39 pm (UTC)He isn't waiting anymore, he just moves to try picking him up, blanket and all.]
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on 2016-04-07 06:43 pm (UTC)-- and then the sound of the other boy treading closer is all the warning he gets before arakita suddenly scoops him up into his arms, blanket and all. there's a startled little yip as he gets swept clean off the couch, both hands immediately trying to secure a safehold on arakita's shoulders to steady himself. ]
Ah, wha --?! Arakita, hey!
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on 2016-04-07 06:57 pm (UTC)All he can do is frown with concern.]
Talk, Koushi. I'll listen.
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on 2016-04-07 07:08 pm (UTC)... but all of that gets abruptly lost at the sound of his own first name, eyes widening. and the startled blink that follows is hard enough to send the twin tears lingering at the corners of his eyes spilling down his cheeks. ]
... you called me Koushi.
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on 2016-04-07 07:12 pm (UTC)[Ah, shit, he's crying more because of it?? Arakita reaches up without really thinking to wipe them away with his thumbs, tipping his head slightly - it's such a dog-like move and he doesn't even realize it, because now his thoughts are about i fucked up.]
You want me to stick to Sugawara? I'm just - used it to make you talk. [Grumbling and mumbling and his ears are coloring because he's aware about how using first names can be too much.]
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on 2016-04-07 07:21 pm (UTC)I don't mind. It just surprised me, that's all.
[ ... the temptation to try reaching up for a hug is pretty real, but. he settles with just twining his fingers into arakita's shirt, instead. teasing, but it's soft. ] I'd say that I think it's cute, but you'd probably get mad at me.
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on 2016-04-07 07:24 pm (UTC)[Letting out a breath he forgot he was holding, Arakita just wipes his face again before he leans in at those fingers curling against his shirt, dipping in to set his chin on Sugawara's shoulder and snort.]
So instead of me bitching and grumbling, talk. Are you missin home?
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on 2016-04-07 07:28 pm (UTC)[ ... but when arakita leans in, the last little bit of his resistance crumbles. which is why he reaches up to slide his arms slowly around the other boy, turning to bury his face in arakita's shoulder. he can't quite get the words out, say i wanna go home out loud, but...
there is a nod, punctuated by the little hiccup of a smothered sob. ]
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on 2016-04-07 07:36 pm (UTC)Walking with the people you know and shit not being weird as hell, the whole atmosphere around here fuckin sucks most of the time. [In the end, Arakita is thinking about it too. While Toudou's frequent nagging and general personality keep Arakita from genuinely feeling too homesick, he still thinks about his other two friends.
Shinkai always trying to get him to eat something new, or Fukutomi giving him some new goal without needing to say a word. Idiots he's attached to. Not so much that he's upset he can't see them, but their presence or their words were always ... there. For the last three years.]
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on 2016-04-08 03:05 am (UTC)it... means a lot. especially coming from someone he doesn't even know all that well, someone who doesn't have a single obligation in the world to him. and, as a result, the last thing he wants to do is be even more of a burden, but... here he is. the middle of the night, sobbing into arakita's shoulder instead of letting him sleep.
he should apologize. or... try to explain, or maybe pull away and wipe his eyes and insist that he's fine. but this is the first time in amoi that he's really, really let himself cry -- over how much he misses home, over daichi, over any of it, and... now that the dam has broken, it's like he can't piece it back together again. he can't even get the words out to agree, just... pushes his face a little further into arakita's shoulder to muffle the sounds of his sobbing, shoulders hitching on every broken breath. ]
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on 2016-04-08 03:18 am (UTC)This is a good case of needing to cry it out, he can tell that much. His nose doesn't lie that often.]
I almost kind of miss the routine I had goin before I got here, you know? Kick Shinkai out of our shared bathroom because he's primping and I need to take a shit, go to class, hassle Fuku-chan to let me copy his homework and get into some annoying song and dance with Toudou about how I need to learn on my own.
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on 2016-04-08 04:19 am (UTC)... sometimes, it just feels good to cry it out, a little.
but his sobs start breaking up like cloud cover, beginning to trail off into little hiccuping breaths as he focuses more on what arakita is saying to him. ... and eventually he turns his head a little, just to make sure his voice isn't too muffled to be understood when he speaks. ] ... those are your friends back home?
[ punctuated by a little sniffle, but. he hopes it's enough to prompt him to keep talking. ]
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on 2016-04-08 04:28 am (UTC)Aa, they are. Well. Toudou's here. He might be an unreasonable nag, but he's still Hakogaku's ace climber. If I can keep his annoying ass out of trouble, it'll be worth it going home and saying I did shit instead of leaving him to fend for himself.
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on 2016-04-08 04:52 am (UTC)Mm... see? [ cracking open his eyes a little, enough to flash a (slightly watery) smile up at arakita. ]
You're really sweet. I told you so.
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on 2016-04-08 05:00 am (UTC)[Dipping his head in to bump their foreheads together briefly, Arakita drops his shirt enough to wipe Suga's wet face with his fingers again, tching softly.]
Shinkai might agree with you though, for some ungodly reason.
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on 2016-04-08 05:21 am (UTC)Shinkai's obviously the smartest. [ grinning, even though the weariness is more than obvious around the edges. crying always takes a lot out of you, doesn't it? he feels... a little wrung out, but in a good way. ] It's easy to see who's the brains of the operation.
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